1. |
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Blur the Blue lines in the back of my mind
I can't sleep without a lift from you
Blur the scar lines, on the back of my head
I can't sleep, I can't sleep without.
It's been months since I've looked in a mirror.
I don't dare take a look at my fear
The ones who cut me open said take it day to day
but the days are like dreams I can't remember when I wake.
But the nights feel so real, that's when I feel alive.
I can swim to the bottom of the ocean, I can touch the sky.
I can comfort the world, and take away it's pain.
I know it's not real, I know it seems insane
but when I'm awake I feel dead, and when I sleep I float away
and see everything in this world that needs change.
We all need change.
Blur the blue lines in the back my mind
so I can find a place of solace.
Blur the scar lines, on the back of my head
that follow me so I never forget.
Take me away to a place I can rest
and see this world for what it is.
And when I wake I'll use my last bit of strength
to tell you stories of a man who made a change.
I've been dreaming, I've been dreaming of change
I wake up to medical machinery but fall asleep to grace
I know I'm not all there, and I can see your sad face
but trust me, my dear, it will all be okay.
What I see when I sleep is as beautiful as you
It gets me through when I'm awake and can barely move
my hand to hold yours until the nurse comes in
to put me asleep and dream what may be my last dream.
This may be my last dream.
This may be my last good night.
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2. |
Ghost Town
03:32
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The fields are always greener on the other side of the road
when all I can see is dirt and buried bones
Well, I watched my father make the grave his home
as I spent many nights staring out the window
wondering who he was whispering to, hands folded, as he laid
in bed sick with a fever.
It was the same bed where I used to rest my head when I was a kid
while I listened to my mother tell me stories of a man
who gave his life for this entire land, she said
he's preparing us a room for when we die
but when he took my father's life, I decided
he wouldn't take mine.
His last words are painted on the walls of my mind,
"My beloved son, the battle's won, and I'm at peace, know you are loved, stay strong, believe"
He was gone before I spoke another word.
All I can feel is this pain and this hurt.
As I shovel this dirt and bury one last memory.
This town's a ghost town
Nothing's left here for me
I can save myself
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3. |
Tread
05:10
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When I was a young boy I held my dreams so tight
I’d fall asleep at night pretending I could save the world
Piece by tattered piece I gathered the broken fragments of everything in this world twelve year old me though was worth fixing
Now here I am in this hospital bed
Reminiscing on the pieces missing
I heard a preacher say it’s never too late
But I already dug my grave in the sand on the beach where I’ll be washed away
(I’ll be washed away)
I’ll be washed away
Like footprints in the sand
Like a letter never sent
Like a love never admitted
I’ll close my eyes
The sun will rise and touch the sky
I’ll go my way and disappear in the soil of the Earth
Before my bones were frail and full of arthritis
Passion flowed through my veins
But like a fashion it faded away
I started chasing the wind and made friends with snakes
Because I wanted to shed my own skin
I’m not so sure what I’ll see when my heart decides to stop beating
Some told me my maker and some told me nothing
Either way I already dug my grave in the sand on the beach where I’ll be washed away
Do you remember when I was a dreamer?
I was so young so full of passion
Now I’m a has-been washed up on the shore
(I’ll be washed away)
I’ll be washed away
Like footprints in the sand
Like a letter never sent
Like a love never admitted
Like the moon in the morning air
I’ll disappear
I’ll disappear.
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4. |
Shipwrecked
04:18
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Our hearts drift out to sea as we are forced to trust the wind and the waves over logical understanding
Our ancestors of old told us that the voices in our head are a direct derivative of a lack of faith a lack of praise and a lack of tithe in the offering plate
So they sent us out in boats without oars to face the storm that’s coming forth
It’s raining it’s pouring and we’re all drowning.
Our ship is tormented by the wind’s dance with the water
Our bones grow cold as we lose hope in the hull and sails we built with our hands
And our hearts yearn the sight of dry land
We’re lost at sea like driftwood as we start to believe there’s no mercy for people like me
Is there mercy for people like me?
Our minds we tried to fix become anchors to a sinking ship
They take us the bottom of the ocean where we sit and reflect without our breath to reassure us we can do this on our own
Drownings seems so inevitable
It’s time to cut the chains that go from our brains to the church’s idea of sanity
It’s time to cut the chains before this water becomes poison to our lungs.
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5. |
The End of the Rope
00:39
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(Interlude)
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6. |
Nooses
04:36
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I’ve been searching for an alibi as to why I can’t sleep at night
Because if I reveal who I really am, You’ll see the veil that is wearing thin
So I can pretend I’m a ghost
I pretend that no one knows
I’ve been painting the walls on the city streets scenes of a man I pretend to be
As I drift away from everything that might catch a glimpse of my dishonesty
I pretend I’m a ghost
I’ve been stitching all the pieces of the fabricated outcomes in a tattered quilt I use to keep me warm at night
There are holes in the fabric and tears in the seams
So all my demons see my fears
I can’t hide
I pretend that I’m a ghost
I pretend that no one knows
I’ve been dancing with the skeletons
Disguised by good intentions
I’ve been hanging with the scarecrows
To keep away the truth about me
It’s been years since I’ve seen my true complexion
In the mirrors that reveal a dishonest reflection of a man with a heart made solely of broken promises
Hidden beneath a mask of repentance
I’ve been keeping all my secrets in a box in an attic in a house in a town far away from here
The house is on a street where the light doesn’t reach
So the darkness hides all that I am that I don’t want seen
I’ve been treading this water just to find out the lake was dry
Like the blood in my heart when I thought I was alive
I’ve been wearing this mask of perfection
To hide from the mirrors that ask for a true reflection
I’ve been running out of firewood to keep my house burning
In an attempt to feel the warmth that I’ve been missing
I’ve lost the seeds you planted years ago in between the cracks of my heart severed
Will I ever breath again?
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7. |
Roots
04:25
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I’ve been dragging my roots in the relentless sand
Everything in my hands is all that I am
As I search for a place to call my own
A home for my roots to grow and grow
I want to bear fruit from my lifeless limbs
My fingers as leaves and my arms as branches
All that I am might sway in the wind
But my roots will become a solid foundation
(I’ve traveled so far from home)
I’ve been praying and waiting and searching for a place to grow
I’ve traveled so far from all I know
I don’t think I’d recognize my native soil
Some say I’m prodigal
But I say I’m just a curious sparrow
I’m a lonely songbird with clipped wings
My sadness kills the melody
So when I try and fly away from the pain
I drag my roots on foot without harmony
Oh how this routine gets so old
Sorrow takes a stronghold on my brittle bones
I want to fall asleep next to complacency
And wake up in a world where peace is my destiny
Lower lower I can’t get lower
Tired tired we’re all so tired
I’ve grown so tired
Like a dreamer on his deathbed
Who has nothing to show for the life he led
Like a boy who watched his father take his last breath
Who doesn’t understand religion and death
I feel so low
Like a man shunned from a church
Because they associate mental health with self worth
And now I’m running from my problems
Like they’re a cancer
And I’m losing my mind
And I can’t find an answer.
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Wishing Well Sioux Falls, South Dakota
Wishing Well is a Spoken Word band from Sioux Falls, South Dakota.
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